Reply to Do men ever get starved for affection?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread is a little sad but I have to add that my dh can't accept any slight affection with out carrying it all the way. If I even breeze past past him and touch him lightly it must end in hours of sex. It's one extreme or the other. There is no casual touching for us. It's all or nothing. [/quote]

OMG!!! This is us to the T(DW here)...Every.Single.Touch must end with sex and I resent that...Sometimes I just want to give affection without him jumping on me for sex but NO...IT has to be sex..[/quote]

DH here. I got a lecture on pretty much exactly that last night. Here is the thing - I engage in nonsexual touch with her all the time. I engage with her without touching at all. And, I also try to have some touch be sexual. But, she apparently only registers the sexual touch and does so in a negative way. Somehow the nonsexual touch doesn't register. Consequently, she pulls away -- leaving me even more starved for her touch; sexual and nonsexual. So, when she gives me a little bit, I'm like a fucking dog who doesn't know when his next meal is coming. And that desperation is deeply unsexy; makes her feel even more pressure.

So, now, to break the cycle, I feel like I'm going to have to completely withdraw all initiation of sexual affection. My fear is that, rather than making her more comfortable with touching me and feeling less pressured, this will leave her free to just "forget" about engaging me sexually at all. Eventually, I'll be one of those basket cases who posts here after having gone months and years without having sex with their spouse. [/quote]

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