Reply to DD does not want an exchange student to come

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would rescind.

I think it was inappropriate that you would agree to that without discussing it with the family.

[b]Having a stranger live with you is a big deal, and it will impact your teenager greatly[/b].  If you want your teenager to be a responsible adult, you should give her the courtesy of discussing big things like this with her.[/quote]

For a week?  Two dinners at home, the rest of the time off with a group?  Good grief, this is a non-issue.[/quote]

+1. Your daughter will be fine. [/quote]

Agreed. Also, if she has done this kind of program before, why does she think she shouldn't have to 'give back'? Good way to frame the offer, you are reciprocating because its the right thing to do.[/quote]

You people either can't remember being a teenager or you had perfect families.

When I was a teenager, I was not at all popular.  While I would've been fine going abroad, I would have been mortified hosting someone else, because I didn't fit in my school.  So it would have been an exercise in showing a foreign student how I didn't fit in and didn't have many friends.

American high school is very cliquish.  I think I would've been fine going to a foreign country.  And I realized in college that I fit in much better when I traveled.  But my high school was horrible when it came to cliques and popular girls and a special kind of bullying.

Not to mention, there were things about my home life that were awkward.

I would have been terribly ashamed and embarrassed to host someone, and I don't know that my parents or other adults would've understood that.

I think it's different for boys.  But for me, high school was difficult socially.  A week is a long time when you're in that kind of situation.

I don't know if that is the case with OP's daughter, but I'm guessing if she's that upset about it that it has something to do with that.

And in my school, there was no requirement to host an exchange student if you wanted to be an exchange student.  That's not how it worked.

So, yeah, I think it was horribly inconsiderate of OP not to talk to her daughter before offering to host.  How would OP feel if her daughter signed her up for some social commitment without discussing it with her first?  It's common courtesy.

Even if OP talked to her daughter first and urged her to do it because of reciprocity, that's one thing.  But the lesson of reciprocity is canceled out by the inconsiderate nature of how OP went about it.

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