Reply to Grandparents coming in for first grandchild--tension already

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[quote=Anonymous]My in-laws came right after the baby was born and stayed about three days, which I was not crazy about but my husband totally laid down the law (especially to his dad).  My MIL is a nurse, and was really helpful--she prepared all the meals, did all the cleanup, did laundry, etc., and they also ran errands for us, drove us to ped vists (we had a ew extra in the first days), etc.  My FIL is a pain as a visitor, but my husband totally kept him out of my hair.  Then my parents came--my dad stayed for a week and my mom for nearly a month.  They were SO helpful--my husband returned to work, so I had a little company, and they ran errands, my dad did little projects around the house we hadn't had time to get to, my mom had dinner ready every night and cleaned my whole house.

BUT--I knew that my in-laws would respect what my husband told them, and I knew that my parents would be truly helpful and supportive.  If I didn't know that, I would have done things differently.  There's no one right way to handle grandparent visits; you have to decide (with your husband) what you want, what you can handle, etc.  Then stick to that.  Your husband should be running interference on this one--part of his job at this point is protecting you and the new baby in these early days.  Especially if you're dealing with his parents, he needs to step up and tell them how things will be.  If they won't respect that you will be exhausted and making a major adjustment, then they can't visit.  Period.  And any visit must be on terms with which you are comfortable.  Stop hinting and discussing and just tell them what you are going to do.  [/quote]

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