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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, definitely good advice to have plans in place. I found that discussing the possibility of divorce with my ex was one thing - this was a rational and mature (if sad) conversation. Actually setting it in motion, on the other hand, was a totally different scene. My ex went from zero to physically threatening me in about 14 seconds, and I had to run out to a friend's house with only the clothes on my back and my cell phone. In time, he came to terms and the divorce was, in the end, amicable. So it was okay. But we certainly couldn't have stayed under the same roof after the decision was made.[/quote]

I am the PP you are responding to.

There was no talking about it or discussing it in the abstract possible with my EX, and certainly not saying I wanted a divorce.  Yes, the change was instant.  I told her calmly, sitting on a sofa in our family room (no kids) and she didn't believe me at first.  We'd been going to counseling for over a year and our marriage had been toast for three at least.  It really should not have been a surprise, though we had been married for a long time.

Although the delivery was calm, she was screaming at me and chasing me out, right then and there.  I left my home within about ten minutes, and never spent another night there.  I've been back as a 'guest' but only briefly.

I had a much worse scene with a live-in GF years later, which involved the fleeing on foot (from my own home that I owned) in a rainstorm to a friend's house a couple of miles away.

OP - be prepared.  Have a place to land and a suitcase of clothing.  Just in case.  [/quote]

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