Reply to How do Indian and Asian parents do it?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "How do Indian and Asian parents do it?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another Indian born and raised here -- in terms of what my parents did -- straight A's were expected and demanded and it was drilled into our heads that an occasional B was a bad grade, even in elementary school; extra math problems for YEARS; learning multiplication tables early -- there was an unbelievable hatred for those Trapper Keeper things (not sure if they make those) as they had a chart where you could look up multiplication tables instead of memorizing; no calculators on homework when young -- not until high school; and a general attitude that NOTHING else mattered besides school -- not friends, parties; soccer games etc.

I don't think an "American" family can comprehend the sheer amount of time that was spent talking about and planning for the (academic/future) in my home -- that's ALL that mattered.

As you got older (like 5th-6th grade+), it was all about "competition" -- i.e. all you heard is that so-and-so auntie's kid is SO smart because he just got into Princeton or Harvard Med/Law etc.  I admit that's a bad thing to do, but for the right kind of kid it does work because it fuels a certain fire.

Later on (like high school) -- lots of lecturing if you considered pursuing anything "unmarketable" in college. There was almost no support in my family for majors like English, history, politics etc. In my family the only "acceptable" courses of study were engineering, med, or finance/accounting or law -- but even law had to involve an engineering or finance undergrad, just in case the law thing doesn't work out.

In terms of academic and professional success, it is not a terrible way to be raised -- it's a formula that works. However, there are lots of Indians now in their 20-30s who are unfulfilled and feel like they lack connections with friends because they were taught that ALL that matters was professional success and by extension -- money. Look for those Indians to be the ones who don't push their kids so hard, allow them to enjoy normal childhoods, and allow them to choose their own paths. I go back and forth as to whether I'd raise my kids the same way -- I do see value in it . . . .[/quote]

I'm Jewish and 2nd generation American. This was definitely drilled into me and my grandparents all made many sacrifices to make a better life for future generations. Sure enough we all went to ivys, etc but I don't plan to put this level of pressure on my own kids. On the one hand I probably needed the push (whereas my brother and sister didn't), but on the other hand I struggled some with depression because I felt that I would never live up to my parents' sky high expectations.  I emphasize social skills as much as academic, but we value a strong work ethic and I do sometimes hear my mother and dad's voice when I help my kids with homework, etc and I do expect them to chose majors in college that are marketable. We are saving and saving in that 529 and I want them to be able to support themselves one day, but they don't need to be doctors, lawyers, etc. Of course they better not be strippers, pimps or drug dealers either.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics