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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do Indian parents do it? Lots of hard work and sacrifice for their children and no life of their own.
 
Why do they do it?  Here is the mindset - they have come from a culture where the difference between the have-nots and haves was very stark, and education was the way to salvation. Coming to the US these fears were not removed but exaggerated the first time they faced the glass ceiling.

There was a naivete when they first came here that merit will be a great equalizer, but then they watch themselves being bypassed at work frequently. Then they are told that they are different.  They are a minority but unlike Hispanics or AA they will not be given any breaks. They will compete with whites, but because of their skin color they don't have to be just better than the whites, they have to be exponentially better than the whites.

So as a result this is what happens. Indians don't just prepare, they over-prepare.

They save like crazy, live frugally, because God forbid they have to take any handouts from someone. They will pay for education for their kids for how ever many years it takes them to be a doctor or lawyer or engineer. [b]Very rarely does an Indian kid walks away with a student debt.[/b]

They will push and push and push their kids. And in the process they will push themselves. You will see that the Geography Bee and Spelling Bee has tons of Indian kids and their parents in the audience. This is just plain hard work. Work till there is nothing else in your life, kind of hard work.

And they do not assimilate. Why should they? This country did not invest in their education. They were the result of brain drain from India. They have paid taxes and were legal immigrants and have not been on welfare, since they arrived here. So they reject the "western" culture, before the "western culture" can reject them.

The idea is to be so well qualified, and have so many credentials that no one can deny them their rightful recognition and reward. Because we can depend on no one but ourselves.

Indians do not push their kids to satisfy their own ego. They push because they are afraid of their kids being treated unfairly.  [/quote]

I'm Indian and I agree with most of this. A lot of this is about fear -- fear of their kids being poor; fear that their kids won't rise high enough in the ranks etc. -- so it's about getting as many credentials and prestigious degrees as possible so they are better than the next guy. They understand that being as good as the Caucasian guy isn't enough -- in order to get their reward, they have to be 2 or 3 times as good. And happiness is no bar -- doesn't matter if you/your kid is miserable, you have to do it.

On a practical note, I will disagree that it is rare to see an indian kid with debt. Lots of my friends have significant student debt. While their parents did well, often it was in fields like engineering, which pay very well but don't have huge upside bonus potential like in law or finance; parents usually scrimp and save and provide every dollar they can for college, but often it still isn't enough to get 2 kids through the ivys plus law/med school at 50-60k/yr. I will say though, I have never known an Indian kid to have debt for a "non lucrative" field. I've known parents who say it's fine to have some debt if you are going into I-banking, biglaw, or medicine because you will pay it off, but have never seen anyone endorse it for a liberal arts degree without a defined career path.

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