Reply to I'm thirty and worried about my future.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP writing. Yeah, I totally agree, but I don't understand how men can claim to love someone and say she is the one and then dig in their heels when she asks for a permanent commitment. I feel like I'm screwed no matter what I do because anyone else will always feel like second best. He is my number one and my best friend. I guess if I want marriage then I may have to look for another man and put the second best notion out of my mind. [/quote]
1) It's not just men who do that.
2) You don't know that anyone else will always feel second best.
3) You should examine your own motivations. Sometimes people long for something they can't have because they are deep down scared of what they're longing for.  For many years, I longed for men I couldn't have. Finally, I had to look closely at myself and face the fact that I was afraid of intimacy so that unavailable men were safer. Took a lot of work to change but I eventually fell in love with an available guy and we have been married for 20 years.

You have to face the fact that you want to get married and your SO doesn't. He's not going to change so you have to decide whether to leave and start looking for someone else.[/quote]

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