Reply to I'm thirty and worried about my future.

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Reply to "I'm thirty and worried about my future."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP to 16:49: I'm not disagreeing with you as far as the fact that I have waited too long, that's why I'm seeking perspectives to help me decide how to take action.

I understand that you're just trying to help, and I appreciate that. I'm saying that with my particular person, i've known him for 10 years (three years longer than our relationship) and while he might date, he wouldn't jump into a marriage.

The reason why because he just plain doesn't have his sh*t together mentally and I have been realizing that he's emotionally unavailable due to that, and that would be true with any woman. Anyway like I said, even if it did happen, what's done is done and I'm going to decide what to do now for me. My self esteem is high enough that if he did do that, my main reaction would be, Well, huge mistake on his part and his loss. [/quote]

men who dont have their shit mentally marry all the time. despite what he is telling you (and quite likely sincerely believing himself) his mental health issues are likely not at all related to his willingness to marry you. its not that he in fact wants to get married, and not to you - in fact i believe you when you say if he were to marry anyone today, it would be you for sure. the problem is, there is no such thing as 'readiness for marriage' independent of a particular woman. one does not need to be mature or healthy to undertstand what he needs to do to keep you forever. he doesnt want to marry you, it seems, and this you need to make perfectly clear (ie give him an ultimatum). he might or might not be willing to marry the next person.[/quote]

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