Reply to Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They didn't "cut you out," they provided for your kids.  Half empty/half full.  No, I would not be hurt, I would be grateful.[/quote]

OP here. My concern is that it may be more harmful to my young kids w/o restrictions. It won't teach them to work for what they have and earn their own way.  Also, at a young age they may spend it on frivolous things like designer bags, bar hoping, etc. I am all for it for as long as in a trust that could only be used for education.  I want it to be valued, appreciated, and not partied away. I honestly would rather she give it to charity than give it to my children with no restrictions, since tons of money the hands of young adults it could lead to a reckless entitlement life. [/quote]

ITA with this. I would be really upset if my children came into a lot of money in young adulthood. I would especially be upset if I felt the money were being given in order to undermine DH and me as parents. (For example, DC wants to do something DH and I disapprove of and refuse to pay for, so grandma swoops in and gives the money to pay for it.)

To me, this is not about the money; this action to me would demonstrate a lack of respect for me as a person, a lack of respect for my choices; and yes, a lack of love and affection for me. It would be one thing if your DH were a drug user, gambler, etc., if giving him access to the money would result in some harm. But otherwise, it feels so petty and small. To me it would feel like she was saying, "I dislike your DH more than I like you." That would hurt me very, very much.

Of course it is your mother's money and she can do with it whatever she wants. But I don't agree that you shouldn't take it personally. It is personal what she is doing, very very personal.

However, I would swallow hard and approach this solely from the perspective of what I thought was best for my children. I would try very hard to convince my mother to put the money in trust for the kids' education, with the remainder not available until they turned 30, or something like that.[/quote]

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