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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think this is a game or an attack or anything of the sort.

It sounds like it has always been part of him, likely an adaptation to the dysfunction in his earlier years. He sounds like he feels rewarded by making people happy, and he feels good about himself when he feels he has been charitable. I don't know how much of it is for others and how much of it is for himself. As he has gotten older it may be that money matters less and less to him (in terms of amassing it) and he feels it should be shared. It could be a cognitive problem and he isn't fully aware of the consequences of his choices (dementia, mania, delusions, etc...) or it could be he is very intentional in what he is doing.

When you say you can't afford it - can you really not afford it or does he just have a different definition of what you can afford? Have there been negative repercussions on your lives from this spending - you can't pay bills? vacation fund is depleted? What can't you afford because of this?

The biggest problem may be that you are far apart in how you feel money should be spent and that he is spending it without consulting you and deciding together.

Does he struggle socially in general? You are saying his social boundaries are off - he doesn't 'get' cues that people don't want to talk to him, or that he is intruding on other people's conversations. is this an issue work wise and in all areas of his life? Does he struggle socially in general or is he just a really friendly guy that people actually respond well to?

I ask because I grew up with parents who always gave any money they had away, as long as the necessities were met. It was part of their faith and general life philosophy and was a wonderful part of our lives. It meant we were always 'poor' in terms of 'stuff' but we had a fantastic life.

And I have a friend who makes friends everywhere he goes. In a restaurant, on the bus, at a store....he is very charismatic and people are drawn to him and he is very inclusive and welcoming and pretty much makes new friends every day from random strangers he meets. It is his personality and people respond well to him - not a boundary or social skill issue at all. [/quote]

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