Reply to My husband told his parents that my job is disappearing

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[quote=Anonymous]I apologize for all the obnoxious posters, OP. Clearly, none of them has lost a job recently. It hurts a lot to lose your job, and you are to be forgiven for acting irrationally while you are processing this terrible upset.

Your DH should not have told his parents. He ought to have discussed with you first how to handle the subject of your job loss, especially since you are planning on spending Thanksgiving with them. I agree that you have a right to be angry with him for his behavior. He put his needs before yours, and in this instance that's just plain wrong.

You need to talk with him about what to do next. PPs have made some good suggestions. Getting angry with him is not always fair. Perhaps he was innocent, perhaps he was upset, perhaps he was just insensitive and stupid. But give him a chance to understand what he did wrong (explain it to him without emotion), and then give him the opportunity to do something to protect you from your in-laws.

You have to get this from him, OP. You must come before his parents. I know because I have faced a similar situation with DH and my in-laws. After much emotional anguish, I finally managed to explain unemotionally what I needed from DH (protection from his parents' nastiness toward me), and he did comply, as best he could.

Your DH can't make his parents change, so don't expect him to perform that miracle. But he can refuse to allow them to belittle you in his presence. If he puts his foot down, they will comply, or you both must leave. DH told his parents they couldn't criticize me or our children (yes, they did that too), or we would not see them. They are still extremely irritating when we visit them (and yes, we'll see them this week), but at least that nasty, critical behavior stopped. They likely criticize me and our children behind our backs, but at least they don't do it to our faces, and they no longer tell DH privately how awful we are!! The children love them, so they are in our future, no matter what.

GL, OP. And so sorry about losing your job. That really sucks. I hope you find another one you like better soon.[/quote]

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