Reply to To the men - I am so sick of being the maid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one ever told me that motherhood would result in me becoming the maid to everyone, including my DH! I'm talking about all the housework and cleaning up after everyone. Kids are still little but I am training them. But DH has found a sweet spot and gotten used to this lifestyle. He makes me feel guilty if I complain. DH works so hard, blah blah blah. I also work hard outside the home but don't make as munch $ as he does. So, we have become stuck in this lifestyle. He gets to decompress from his "hard day" (mine was harder, guaranteed) while I do everything. Same story on the weekends (but he does yard work which I am convinced he actually enjoys). The question is, how do I change this nonsense without destroying my marriage? I think the whole thing is BS for me and I am sick of it. How do I approach my DH with this unfairness? [/quote]

So some experience in same boat.  First off, I am the DH.  I am the "maid," or whatever you want to call it.  But there has to be a way to come to middle ground.  Second, using the fact that he likes yard work as point of argument, is quite frankly, immature and senseless.  So you're saying if he hated it, that means its more equitable?  That means if you liked doing maid work around the house, it doesnt count?  Of course it does.  So leave it.

You have to express to him that you cant be made to feel guilty if you complain, and second you have as much right to decompress and enjoy life as he supposedly does.  That means either you both start doing housework or there is hired help.

Simple as that.  Oh, wait, "but I cant afford housecleaners!"  Tell me that, and I will tell you that he has then put up with a messier home.   period.

Earning money shouldnt equate to more votes in household.  Easy thing to believe, but that thinking in itself will ruin a marriage, not the messy home. [/quote]

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