Reply to How to handle marriage where kid duty for medical appts is very uneven?

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Reply to "How to handle marriage where kid duty for medical appts is very uneven?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you should accept it.  My husband's job has a lot more flexibility than mine.  He takes DS to almost all of his doctor's appointments.  [b]We cannot change the expectations of our respective jobs, and the market is not good to be looking for new jobs. [/b] Whenever I can, I take off to try to do a few appointments, but it isn't possible for me to do the majority of them.  It is possible for DH to do so.  Not everything will be equal, that is the reality of life.  [/quote]

+1 to to everything above and especially the bolded.

DS is 2. DH works less hours than I do and 5 minutes from our home whereas I work longer hours and have to commute into DC everday.

DH does day care drop off and pick up plus most doctor's appointments. I know that he's resentful bc he's mentioned it before but this is the set up that we've always had from the beginning. It did not suddenly morph into this.

I've told him I have no problem doing daycare drop off but it does mean that we will have to drop off at 2.5 hours early which means we will have to pay for an extra 12.5 hours of day care per week. I'm fine with paying more but DH is not because he gets paid less than I do and [b]is already struggling to put in his half of the household payments. [/b]We also have a brand new baby who will start day care soon which will effectively double our daycare payments.

It's going to be very difficult in any situation for things to be split EXACTLY down the middle. I think it's best to take a look at the common good of the household when these kinds of decisions need to be made.[/quote]

PP... I feel badly for your husband! Do you really split the expenses evenly in half despite having different incomes? I thought most couples put income in a common pot that expenses then come out of... I think your husband might be resenting more than doing more of the drop-offs and appointments! I would if I were him.[/quote]
Wow, I was going to highlight that too. What a terrible way to run a marriage. :shock:   Either ALL money should go into the common pot, or expenses should definitely be proportionally split. This comment practically deserves its own thread! [/quote]

After reading pp's update it sounds like it's not a huge differecnce. Pp only makes $5000 more than her DH but DH has a money management issue and is not able to meet basic expenses.[/quote]

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