Reply to Sexual Frustration as Romantic Motivation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I don't know if "everybody wins". What I know is that sex is so far off her radar, it's not even keeping her up an extra 1/2 hour. She's clearly not burning with desire for me. As the PP noted, a live encounter is better - for me. But it's probably selfish of me to bother her with it if it's not at all on her mind.

And she gets this 9 hours of sleep probably 4-5 times per week. So, lack of sleep doesn't seem to be the problem. [/quote]

It sounds to me like you're making excuses. I don't know if you're scared of rejection or just lazy, but you've got an answer prepared for every possible suggestion that might result in more sex between you and your wife. You're at the point where you're basically expecting her to:

1) Read your mind and know that you want weeknight sex
2) Act on this by delaying her bedtime
3) Show up raring to go at the time and place most ideal for you

This would be nice, but it's not likely to happen. This could be a stock response to 90% of the threads on this sub-forum, but it's as true here as anywhere: people don't just magically up and change established behavior.

If you want more of your wife, go and get her.

Of course you shouldn't need to be the only one to initiate forever and ever (that's not fair), but you've got to start somewhere. She doesn't think you're exactly burning with desire for her, either, if you're not in the habit of trying.

It's more work when you're a few years older and have a lot more responsibility in your life. That sucks. But you can choose to work with what you have or you can choose to mope passive-aggressively. Your call.[/quote]

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