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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am not going to get into it with prior posters, but my opinion is different. I agree that you describe an abusive, or at least dysfunctional, childhood for both you and DH. I agree that in the context of that history and an ongoing dysfunctional relationship (MIL complaining about your time with other family members, sulking and complaining expecting you to change for her, complaining about "waiting" when you are on time), her "hush" is hostile or at least passive-aggressive (which we gauge by her reaction to your reaction, not necessarily by the initial act). Why do I say all this? Because I grew up in an abusive home with parents who are dysfunctional and mentally ill (your MIL sounds like my NPD parents to a T). You are going to have a lot of trouble if you don't find support and perspective outside of this framework. You are not just debating differences of opinion or perspective, you are carrying with you the damage from your childhood and until it is seen clearly and healed, it will inevitably impact your children. It is great that you and DH want to parent your children differently. Consider seeing a therapist, alone or together, to talk about what that really means in practical terms in a safe environment where you're exploring your history and motivations more than just choosing between different approaches that you've seen used. [/quote]
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