Reply to Do I tell my brother a family secret about him that everyone but him knows??

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for all the responses so far.  To respond to a couple of questions:  no, my grandmother doesn't know who the bio father is.  I seriously, seriously doubt my father or my mother's sisters would either.  At most they might know the guy's first name if my mother had even told anyone that much.

I keep going back-and-forth between (1) thinking my brother should know the truth and then (2) wondering why, if the truth is going to dredge up a lot of hurt and anger, with not much gain from it.  Like a couple of PPs have said, I wonder if it might help him to know that my father's attitude toward him is not completely about him but about the circumstances.  But does my brother really want to think that he is the result of some teenage sleeping around that led to my mother getting married hastily to someone else?  And then never knowing who his biological father or that family is?

My brother has a lot on his plate emotionally as it is, and right now he's having trouble at work and is worried for his job.  Plus the holidays are coming up.  Is this really a good time to get into it?  I like a PPs suggestion that I talk to him in person -- I was definitely thinking I'd have to fly out there and have this conversation face-to-face, if the conversation happens at all.

It helps to hear everybody's thoughts; my brain is all over the place with this, and I alternate between just crying about the whole thing and then thinking "well, what's really going to change? Nothing."  Please keep the responses coming.[/quote]

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