Reply to Husband - parenting fail last night - how upset should I be? (I need perspective)

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Reply to "Husband - parenting fail last night - how upset should I be? (I need perspective)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
everybody has bad days.  and no one was put in danger here.  so, yeah, i'd be mad but not livid.  he should own up to it and it definitely shouldn't happen on a regular basis.  (I, however, would have drug his lardass out of bed to help with the groceries.  With a pitcher of icewater if necessary.)

the bigger red flag is that you "don't really trust" him to take care of the kid.  that could mean lots of different things.  him making minor to major screw-ups on occasion or regularly?  [b]you trying to control every aspect of his parenting? [/b]him throwing in the towel because he can't do things right for you?  You not giving him a chance to learn how to take care of the kid on his own?  him not getting invested in figuring things out for himself?  some combination of these?  that's what you need to get to the bottom of.

when sleep-deprived, my DH adopts something of a sullen teenage boy approach where he tries to do as little as possible without directly confronting me about anything, and apologizes immediately if called out just to get me to shut up.  I make the most headway on this lamentable habit if I discuss later, after he's had a good night's sleep.  it still happens.  but less.[/quote]

No, I'm pretty chill and relaxed about parenting. I'm in no way a helicopter parent or even close.  This issue has happened before (him falling asleep and not putting DS to bed).  He also does really stupid stuff like giving a 2 year old gum, and other choking hazzards, no matter how many times I explain to him why it's dangerous.  He's also never given DS a bath.  Ever.  He also refuses to do the morning daycare dropoff, even though he works part time, and I work full time.  He did it 1 time, on the 1st day, then told me it was too much for him to handle in the mornings and I would have to do it (we had agreed before getting pregnant that he would do the morning drop-offs)[/quote]

time for a serious state of the relationship talk, then.  it's not really a parenting problem.  well, it is, but it is first a relationship problem because he's not your partner.  if I were you, I would not make it about this specific incident (other than an illustrative example).  if it were just this incident, it might be okay for him to apologize and then move on with no real changes.  something more is needed here.[/quote]

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