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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom was a great mom but we aren't close. We are in each others lives and we keep in touch and connect on a superficial level but we aren't 'best friends'! We are like very friendly acquaintances. I don't mind her company. I don't ask her advice, or tell her my problems. I am much closer to my sister than my mother.

I don't think everyone really needs to be close to their mothers. It isn't a slight against my mother. We are two different people and as adults, I just don't really need her in life in a 'deep' way.
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+1[/quote]

Can you pinpoint why you are just "like very friendly acquaintances" instead of close? My mom is close to her mom, I am close to my mom, and it scares me that absent serious misbehavior on my part that my daughters and I still might not be close one day. [/quote]

Not the pp, but I feel the same way. My mom is always super critical and takes all of my decisions personally. He's not a bad mon, but I learned that the best way to avoid her critiscims and ultimate manipulative ways (all well meaning) was to avoid telling her bout what was going on in my life.[/quote]

I feel very much the same way as other PPs.  My mom did the best she could raising me and my parents were good parents but over the years, my mother has become very insecure and critical, especially once I had kids.  I feel like there are a lot of things that are easier not to tell her because she will either a. find something wrong with how I am doing things or b. take what I have done as a personal slight to her, even when it had nothing to do with her.  And I'm not talking about criticizing big decisions--she made a comment the other day on the birthday party theme (a well-known cartoon character) that I selected for my 3-year-old.  Another example--she texted me the other day all upset over a comment that I made on Facebook that had NOTHING to do with her.  She isn't even on Facebook but read it on my dad's account.  Seriously--it's Facebook--who cares!!

But these are the kinds of stupid conversations that I have with her every time I share anything with her so I do tend to hold back a lot or avoid doing or saying things that will get back to her because I don't feel like dealing with her attitude.  I feel like I have to constantly tiptoe around her in an attempt to not hurt her feelings because she blows everything out of proportion.  She called me last night and I didn't call her back yet because I was sick and fell asleep when the kids went down.  I'm avoiding calling her back tonight because I'm sure that it will somehow be turned into an insult against her rather than the simple fact that I wasn't feeling well.[/quote]

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