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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If this goes against your moral compass you have ZERO obligation to go on this trip. Why go if you are going to harbor negative feelings? What a waste of time and energy. If you feel you are "done" with the friendship then end it now and move on. You might want to tell her the truth that it just isn't' something you can get over right now and she will no choice but to accept it, whether or not she agrees. I am sure if she had any inkling that this would happen she never would have told you. I was once in her shoes and let me tell you the guilt ate me alive. I had to tell someone and did. Unfortunately it did not stop there and my fiance (at the time) found out. As crazy as it sounds, I was relieved, I knew I would not carry the weight of that guilt for long. Ironically I ended up getting engaged to the man I had the affair with! And we are now married for 9 wonderful years, so sometimes there is some good that comes out of these things but in this case this is a married woman carrying on with a man half her age and with kids, its much more complex. Be true to yourself and do not feel forced into going on the trip if it feels wrong.[/quote]

Sounds to me like you wanted out of the wedding but didn't have the courage to call it off, so you cheated in hopes that your fiance would find out and call it off.  No wonder you were relieved-- Your (perhaps unconscious) plan worked.  Your advice of being true to yourself and not feel forced into something may be apt, but it certainly was not exemplified by your own behavior.[/quote]

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