Reply to My husband has never been on time for a thing in his life

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[quote=Anonymous]I am married to this same exact man.  We have been together for 27 years and have two kids.  The issues with time also occur with respect to financial management.  For example, he is 50 years old and has saved $15K toward retirement.  I have saved $400K on my own.  He will not give a thought to saving for our kids' educations, while I kill myself to scrimp out of the household budget and my own income to do so.  He won't finish any task.  Our house is filled with half-assed home improvement projects that he has undertaken and never finished, leaving the house look worse than it did when it was "unimproved."  I am stunned that he has not been fired from his job many times over. He has not pursued career advancement and at this point I guess he has just topped out in his career.  I earn twice as much money as he does, because I have been aggressive in my career and he has been passive in his.

Having kids magnified these issues enormously, because with school-age kids and teenagers, there is just that much more to be done.  Almost all of it falls on me.  I also plan all the vacations, all the weekend activities.  He takes no initiative - and I guess he doesn't need to.  If I said, "I've planned all of our vacations, it is your turn now" -- we would never have another vacation again.  It just wouldn't happen.  He has been diagnosed with ADHD.  He takes medicine and it does nothing for him.

There are times when I fantasize about leaving him, but I can't stand the thought that if we divorced, when it is his turn to have the kids, he would not get them where they need to be, wouldn't make sure their homework was done, etc.  So, I consider myself stuck, at least until the kids go to college.

I want a partner in life.  He is a good person, but my respect for him due to these basic issues of competence has eroded over the years and I fear it is past the point of no return.

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