Reply to How much did you spend on your bar/bat mitzvah party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OT but if you are very poor and cannot afford a BM party, what happens? Does the community help plan and pay for one?[/quote]

I assume you have what you can afford?  My kid went to a Bar Mitzvah one weekend where they had a kiddush lunch at the temple, and then went to a Farm in Potomac or Gaithersburg or something where there was a zip line, and mini golf, and a giant barbecue and a couple hundred kids, and they got expensive personalized favors.  It was lots of fun and he had a good time.

The next weekend he went to a Bar Mitzvah where he went home right after the service.  The next day, he went back to the temple and they spent a few hours playing ping pong in the basement of the temple with a handful of boys.  For favors they got a little bag with Israeli candy.  My kid thought the bazooka bubblegum with the Hebrew comics was incredibly awesome, and had just as much fun as he had the weekend before.

I see it as like a wedding.  The important thing is that you have the people you care about there, and that you go through the right of passage, and make memories.  If you can afford a massive blow out, then go for it but don't put yourself in debt or feel obligated to do something you can't afford.  You can accomplish the same thing in a very low key way.[/quote]

This is a very accurate picture. They vary as much as weddings do. And, for the guests (especially kids), bling doesn't necessarily mean better.

To the pp that said being an observant Jew is only for the wealthy. I've often thought it seems that way, especially as a young adult trying to join a synagogue and being floored by the dues. I now look at it as more of an itemized way of donating or contributing to charity. Catholics tithe, and most religions or religious communities have their own ways of donating or collecting money. Many synagogues "charge" donations for various synagogue or rabinical services (wedding officiating, bris, religious school, etc.) If finances are ever an issue, I know my synagogue would waive fees or make other accommodations in a heartbeat. [/quote]

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