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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I made a similar post a couple of weeks/months ago about my dad stopping by, and I got similar comments about how I should be fortunate that he cares enough to stop by.  I was in your shoes, and I understand what you are going through, trust me.  But then my dad dropped dead suddenly and now I see it from the other side too.

So, with that in mind, here are my thoughts:  
(1) Be nice, but be firm.
(2) BE SPECIFIC about when she absolutely must not come by. If your mom is like my dad, then your mom won't stop her habit of stopping by unannounced.  It is a habit.  So instead of telling her that she can't stop by unannounced altogether, you need to tell her WHEN she can't stop by unannounced.  She should be able to live with that, e.g. "Mom, we'd really love to see you, but mornings are truly hectic for us, and when you stop by, since the kids want to see you, it delays me from getting them to school/getting me to work, on time.  We really can't have you stopping by during the mornings." (You get the picture.)
(3) Tell her when it is OK to come by.
(4) As others have said, find activities for her to do. Help her get engaged.
(5) Set a specific time when she can see the kids - are your kids in school?  Maybe you could tell her that the best times for her to stop by would be on Tuesdays/Thursdays.  Broad enough so that she doesn't feel like she's making an appointment, but specific enough that it will give you some certainty.

But, most importantly, and trust me, I know that this is really hard, b/c it is an annoyance, remember that she loves you and the kids.  And be patient with her.  [/quote]

Wow, PP I remember your post-- you were the one at the vacation home? So sorry for your loss.  [/quote]

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