Reply to In a pickle over daughter and ivy college choice....am I overthinking this?

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[quote=Anonymous]I was a solidly middle class daughter of a blue color working father and a teacher mother and I attended an Ivy after my public school education.

I can only recall one time when I truly recognized that I simply didn't have the money some of my friends did - otherwise, we were all in random dorms, with random roommates (and in fact, I got luckier in housing than some of my friends who turned out to have parents far wealthier than I can ever dream of being). The one time, I went to dinner with a group of friends off campus. One girl ordered several appetizers "for the table" that only she ate, several glasses of wine, the most expensive entree, and several desserts "for the table" that only she ate. I had the $10 burger and water given it took me over 2 hours of working my work-study job to even earn that once I figured in a tip. At the end of dinner, she looked at the bill and told everyone it would be $50 each. I nearly choked on my water. I had to explain I didn't have that kind of money and could only afford to pay for my burger and tip. I never would have agreed to go to dinner if I had any clue that was how it would go, in college people didn't generally split the bill since most of us were on budgets!

My parents sent me no allowance, and cobbled together my tuition from student loans for me, outside scholarships that I earned, a small amount of grant money, what I earned on summer and other breaks, and my work-study job.  I am forever in their debt for that sacrifice and fully realize how much of a struggle it was for them.

So, all that said, if your daughter worships wealth, there is nothing you can really do to change that at this point. That ship sailed years ago. She will seek that crowd at any institution.

And that said, you may think she's a shoo-in, but regardless of what you think, don't count your chickens. I have interviewed many students from every private and public school in this area over the years for my college and I have stopped even being remotely surprised at the ones that don't get in. [/quote]

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