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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Go to his house, as much as he comes to yours ~ no reason yours is 'preferred'.  Or get together at other locations.

Maybe sister in France should consider having a local US reception. Certainly no family member, in any family, should be expected to go overseas for a wedding.

I would stop talking - and thinking - about the discrepancy. OMG don't offer to loan him money! not unless he said that he was looking to borrow money from somewhere.

You need to fit-in to his life and enjoy all that his life is about, just as much as this effort you are making to include him in your life. You are not more special. Not more important.

OP here who said I think I am more special? I never said it nor implied it! I never said my needs and my house and lifestyle are better, I am to the contrary very close to my brother and that is precisely why I feel for him but am careful to not stop on his toes aka dignity or pride. My sister in law had mentioned that in passing "the trip to France" was the last thing they needed with all their expenses so of course yes, I was brainstorming to think of how I could help, not a crime to WANT to help someone you love and care about.  Sister in not reconsidering her wedding, it is done, planned and is not open to negotiation.

As it turns out, I spoke with my brother and did in fact have some airline credit so discreetly got the tickets. He was very thankful and no one but he or i know. I am very pleased it worked out this way and I know that its a burden lifted off of him as well which was my objective all along.
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