Reply to Veteran moms: Tell us what the first month is like...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Breastfeeding hurts in the beginning.  Yes, even with a good latch.  I wish someone had prepared me for that.  It WILL get better though and eventually you'll pop the baby on without even thinking about it.

2. Sometimes the baby will eat more frequently than every 2-3 hours.  Cluster feeding is common in the evenings.

3. Help is great, but you may just want some privacy to bond with your baby.  I wish I had kicked my in-laws out of the house sooner.

4.  You cannot screw your kid up for life in the first couple of months.  Just do what you need to do to get through it - even if that means letting him/her sleep on your chest or holding him/her all the time.  I was so afraid that my DS would never sleep in a crib on his own.  But things change so frequently!  Don't think too far in the future.

5.  I was starving and so, so thirsty.  Make sure you are taking care of yourself.

6. Get lots of pads!  I had no idea there would be so much bleeding postpartum.  ugh
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NP here.  I agree with every single point here (especially the two about nipples hurting even if you're breastfeeding correctly and privacy to bond with your baby - DH and I spent the first week just the two of us and our DD and then had in-laws in town to help).  Wanted to add to the list of already great points:

7.  You can go to the bathroom and shower even when you're in the house alone.  This may seem like an obvious statement now, but in the throws of exhaustion these simple activities seemed overwhelming and I hated the idea of leaving my awake newborn alone in another room.  Here's what you do:  Pull your bouncer into the bathroom with you and do your thing.  For me, showering everyday was an important part of my mental health.

8.  If you can, prep some frozen meals (lasagna, etc) a week before so you have no-fuss meal options that you or DH can pop into the oven without too much effort.  When my DH came home, it was nice for me that he could focus on DD and giving me a bit of a break and not be worried about making dinner.  Also use paper plates for a couple of weeks.  It's nice not to empty the dishwasher.

9.  Get out of the house - even for a walk up and down the street.  The first week or two I barely left the house and it was depressing.  Day and night ran together.  DD was an August baby so in the morning I would get up with her around 6 AM, do a feeding, and then plop her in a bjorn and walk up and down the street for 10 minutes before it got too hot.   As she got bigger and I fully recovered, that walk became a 35 - 40 minute walk which was wonderful for my spirits.

10.  Incorporate your DH into the day and care of your baby.  I did everything for the first three months. Not because DH wasn't there to help, but I wasn't good at delegating.  Whether it's bath time or, when the time is right, a bottle feeding, or an evening walk with your DC, have your DH "own" something that is his.  This is great for him, but it's also really good for you.

11.  You are your baby's favorite toy and plaything.  As DD turned two and three months, I remember feeling like I had to entertain her - that she seemed bored.  A friend reminded me that you are your baby's favorite source of nurturing and entertainment.  Your voice, your touch, your attention - those are the things that are most important to your baby.  You don't have to create a song and dance.

The first 6 - 8 weeks were really tough, but at the same time, you do it - something comes out and you go into automatic pilot.  My friend refers to that early time as "being in the trenches" and I think she's right.  But in the midst of that, it's also a transformative time.  You will do great!

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