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[quote=Anonymous]My dad had NPD, went into alcohol fueled rages every 5-7 day, beating the shit out of everyone, trashing the house and terrorizing us.  It was horrific.  He's been dead for over 25 years and I've worked really hard to give my kids the opposite of what I had growing up.  What kills me is that my mother will pontificate on other people's spouses - like there are many people worse than my father.  She also won't get rid of stuff I wouldn't call her a hoarder (yet) but she associates objects with memories and has difficulty giving anything up.  I'm sure part of it is that my dad would destroy things he knew she valued (like their wedding pictures, letters her brother wrote while a Marine in Vietnam, etc.).  I had a bunch of old family stuff that was just cluttering up my life too much (my possessions were possessing me) and I wanted to get rid of it.  I offered it to my siblings and cousins, no one wanted it.  She lit into me about how it was my heritage, etc. and it should remain in the family, it was important, we should cherish it and take care of it.  Being bitchy and pissed, I said "oh, so it's okay for the old man to destroy things but it's not okay for me to get rid of stuff because it doesn't fit my lifestyle and I'll never use it.  Should I just have DH break it?  That seems to be an acceptable way to get rid of stuff."  I swear, she was just about to say the old man never destroyed anything.  Instead, she just gave me the stink eye and said she'd take it.  That's exactly what she did.  Like a PP, her house is so filled up with stuff, I feel claustrophobic in it.  Thank goodness she lives half way across the country.[/quote]

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