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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, we went through this process over this past spring and it was really stressful.  Now that it's over (we moved in last month) I feel like DH and I are getting along so much better.

Things that helped us: having an agent who was a very calming presence for me and our kids (DH, I don't know).  Seriously, I would feel stressed out or frustrated with DH and then would talk to her and feel better.  She remained upbeat and optimistic.  We also sat down at the very start of the process and made a list of must-haves, nice-to-haves, and dealbreakers.

We were very flexible on schools.  One thing we did when considering an area was spend some time researching the school ourselves--I would suggest touring a school if possible, talking to PTA parents, etc.  This really helped both of us to feel more comfortable with areas that some DCUM-ers avoid.

[b]During our search my DH was emphatic that we should look in a totally different area, which neither of us is familiar with at all, and which would make my commute a nightmare.  I was SO resistant, for weeks and weeks, and it was a running argument.  I finally agreed that we could at least check it out and tour some of the homes he had been looking at online.  In the end this was a nonissue because we found a house in the location we both wanted--but I think my agreeing to go along with him and have even a slightly open mind went a long way in terms of goodwill.[/b]
Hang in there--it won't last forever![/quote]

This.  I feel your pain OP, we went through some arguments of our own but eventually worked through it.  I was the one who wanted to check out some options further away so we could get a bit of land- the problem was that I work in MD and DH works in VA, so there weren’t many options within our budget that wouldn’t give at least one of us a nightmare commute (DH also has to drive, whereas I have more public transport options).  He was resistant to checking out any of the further flung communities so we picked the one that was the most reasonable of the bunch and treated it as a Sunday drive to check out an area we hadn’t spent any time in before.  The funny thing was, he ended up loving it even more than I did and became obsessed with finding something there.  Listings were sparse and we ended up buying somewhere closer in instead, and there’s part of us that is disappointed, but we know it wasn’t the meant to be for now.  But next time we buy I know we will look there again!

Anyway, when we were disagreeing, I felt he was being close-minded when all I wanted to do was look and cast a wider net, because we were getting frustrated with the other locations we were looking.  Once he agreed to visit I felt like we could have more of an honest discussion about whether it would work or not.

Re: not wanting to do renovations.  We were that way, but after viewing so many obviously “flipped” houses, we saw the potential in being able to make our own decisions and renovations.  We ended up with a house that needs a kitchen redo and although it’s a bit stressful to work out, it’s fun too.
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