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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Monogamy sucks. As someone who really is not that interested in sex much with my husband, I'm certainly still interested in sex. I'd love some variety.

However, that is not acceptable in our culture-so I don't go there. I understand how important sex is to my husband so I try to make sure it happens at least twice a week. I would expect that if I were not having sex with him that he would go find someone to have sex with. Who possibly expects otherwise?  People do not get married and be expected to live a celibate life! That is crazy.[/quote]

Monogamy is kind of like democracy inasmuch as it sucks, but less than the alternatives. Overall, I think the benefits of a stable marriage generally outweigh the benefits of a sex life with multiple partners. And, I think, for most couples, non-monogamy destabilizes the marriage.

And, I wouldn't be surprised if your husband had similar thoughts -- that sex with new women might be more exciting. But, it's like Mel Brooks said, "Sex is like pizza - even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." So for most people, I think (monogamous sex + stable marriage) > (polygamous sex + destabilized marriage). However, at some point,  lack of sex or crappy, starfish sex can become such a problem that it outweighs the benefits of marriage. [/quote]

I'm the person you are quoting and I totally agree. I think that sex outside the marriage can certainly work, but for most not in our culture (I do believe it does work for some, as it did my great grandparents who had an open marriage-yes that was back in the 1920s!! she had a boyfriend, he a girlfriend).  We are so ingrained with the notion of monogamy from the day we are born that very few marriages can survive outside of monogamy.
My husband agrees with me and I've been very frank with him telling him that I think monogamy is not natural.  I know for a fact that he would like to sleep with other women, but we both don't want to open Pandora's box. I'm not sure how either of us would react IRL. I don't want to find out, as we are actually quite happily married.

Yes, I do sometimes preform "duty" sex, but I also know how to keep my husband happy. His mood and his willingness to allow me to really skate on a lot of mood swings and laziness directly relates to how much and the quality of sex he gets.  For instance, if I want to lounge around in bed all morning on a Saturday or Sunday and watch DVR episodes of RHWOBH, then all I have to do is give him some dirty filthy sex the night before.  The next day? he will happily hang with the kids most of the morning while I lounge around in my pajamas doing absolutely nothing.  Men are pretty easy to keep happy. Some hot and sweaty dirty talk reverse cowgirl always does the trick in my house.[/quote]

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