Reply to Jewish perspective: Can I refuse to do the chairs dance at my wedding? (Not Jewish, but fiancé is?)

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Reply to "Jewish perspective: Can I refuse to do the chairs dance at my wedding? (Not Jewish, but fiancé is?)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it's concerning that your fiancé won't explain this to his mother. What is his reasoning for that?  Hopefully he is not like the asshole PPs who are doubting the seriousness of your condition?  And hopefully he is not planning on making you do the dirty work in dealing with his mom any time you two have to tell her something she won't like?  Those would be some major red flags. [/quote]

Not the OP, but ... my mother has epilepsy. My father wasn't told until after they were married. His father was VERY angry upon finding out, and I believe the term "damaged goods" was thrown out. [/quote]

That seems shitty toward your father that he didn't know about his bride's condition until after they were married. I'd be angry at the sneakiness.

OP, I agree with the PP who questioned what this means as far as your fiancé dealing with his mom. The two of you should at least tell her together, although the best thing would be for him to tell her by himself. Would he like to deal with your mother by himself if there was something she needed to be told that you both thought she might not like?

FWIW, stand your ground and skip the dance. It's really not a big deal.  Tell the dj/band leader, and if you have a best friend or sister, recruit them to run deadly interference in case any drunk guests try to rustle up a chair dance for you!  Between them and your husband, the dance won't happen. Don't fret about it and focus on enjoying your day![/quote]

+1 OP, I do not think that your wedding is the time for you to explain all this to your in-laws. Just say you are not doing it -- no explanation. It is your fiancés job to tell his mother.[/quote]

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