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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP and her ilk can feel free to judge me because DC spends 1-2 weekend nights at the grandparents. I did the same when I was a kid and loved it as does my kid. I'm planning my retirement around being available to do the same for any grandkids I'm blessed to have. In addition, I've taken an adult vacation each year since birth. Maybe not as soon as your SIL but still. No regrets.[/quote]

But there are only two days in the weekend. So do you spend any time with your kids as a family? I hope you don't work all week then leave the kid most of the weekend? Doesn't your spouse want to spend the weekend with his child?
Do you and your spouse work?
Are you overwhelmed? Why do you do it?[/quote]

We spend time as a family, but family is more than just our household. I grew up feeling completely at home at my aunt/uncles, grandparents, etc. We both work and no I don't feel overwhelmed at all. I want my kid to know her family and be as close as I was. Her fav people in the world are her grandma and greatgrandma and its because she spends quality time with both regularly. In my family, for us to not see extended family at least weekly is odd. My little cousins and nieces are welcomed here anytime and nobody feels keeping kids are a burden fairly regularly because we all feel responsible for them. In addition, I love spending time with friends. Luckilly, some of my friends have similar familial structures in that one weeknight they might have nieces and nephews over to play and then we're all out for drinks the next (sometimes as couples, sometimes not).

Some of us are really fortunate to have family in the area who are really supportive so I know this wouldn't work for everyone, but per DCUM, seems like the most stressed out marriages are those with little outside help.[/quote]

I want to be the one caring for my own kids. My MIL is more than willing to help but never would I leave hem like that over night, unless it's a special occasion. This makes me sad for you. Why did you even have kids when you are working Mon to Fri, then you drop them off fri to sun or sat to sun. How many hours are you actually with them?
Just because the help is offered doesn't mean you have to leave them? I find this incredibly sad, one of the saddest things u have read in DCUM. I am glad spending time with friends is such a priority, but you can do that with kids too. I feel so sad for your kids.[/quote]

THIS is one of the saddest things u have read on DCUM?  A family that has found a balance that works for it makes you sad?

NP here, and I think you need to stop being so sanctimonious.  So you get off on feeling superior?  I find that sad.

FYI, I am a SAHM.  I spend plenty of time with my kids.  So does my DH, who is home for dinner every night.  We take most vacations with our kids, but we do go away just the two of us for 2 nights about once a month.  Why?  Because we got married so we could grow old together, not so we could raise our kids to think that life stops for grown-ups as soon as they become parents.  My identity is not primarily about being a mother or wife.  I am my own person, with my own interests.  If I were not, both my DH and I would be bored to tears, and my children's lives would be much poorer.  You don't need to hover over your children 24/7 for them to be happy and feel attached.

BTW, the kids love that we are so bonded as a couple.  The greatest gift you can give your children is the gift of a happy marriage.  You can't have a strong family without one.  [/quote]

I agree but you dont have to LEAVE kids in order to be bonded as a couple.[/quote]

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