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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you.  My DH was unemployed for about three years after being laid off and it was incredibly hard on him.  He recently got a new position in a different field that he is extremely happy with, but it was a tough, tough road to get there.  To be honest I am still waiting for the bottom to drop out...

The folks who are saying "just get a job, any job" have no idea what they are talking about.  My DH applied at places like Target, Best Buy, and even some factories trying to get a job on the line, and he didn't have a lot of luck.  No employer believes that a credentialed professional is going to stick around at a job like that, and it creates a real barrier.

During my husband's three years of unemployment, I spent a lot of time reminding him that if he worked a minimum wage job, virtually all of the funds would go to child care.  I also explained how the things he did for us around the house were equal to real money in the bank.  No gardener, no maid, no bug spraying company because he did all of that stuff.  And I emphasized that he was giving his child a wonderful gift by being home with her when she was young and creating a foundation that would serve her for the rest of her life.

Even with all of this, yes, he was very depressed.  The fits and starts of a job search can be crushing.

Now, on to your issue - which is also very real and deserved equal airtime here.  I know you must be exhausted in every way.  Maybe it is time to suggest to your DH that he look seriously into a DIFFERENT field.  IT, as many have suggested.  Or some other vocation.al tech type of field.  There are good, affordable, and relatively brief programs at many community colleges that can get you the certification you need to get into a new area.  What about considering relocation?  Renting out a room in your house to take away some of the budget crunch, but with your DH doing ALL of the work to make that happen?

Just as importantly, try to be kind to yourself, OP.  You are not to blame for this situation either, and you deserve compassion.  Don't beat yourself up for feeling extremely frustrated; anyone would.  I think you need to tell your parents, respectfully, that when they ask you about it, it makes it even harder, and you will give you an update as soon as there is one.

Finally, I would say that since this is now impacting your happiness, the strength of your marriage, your husband's sense of worth, it is time to pull out ALL the stops.  Call in every favor you can think of.  Ask relatives if they can employ him.  Look for an inside scoop from people you know who work at big companies.  Contact alumni networks and press them for help.  Any and all cards should be played.

Good luck OP.  You guys will get through this if you keep playing on the same team.  [/quote]

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