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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, if this is true, prepare yourself for when your parents come to you looking for financial support when they are old and out of money.[/quote]

Op here again. Sorry for all the responses, but with my daughter it's hard to get time on the computer.

I 100% agree with you. I've told my parents hundreds of times I will not and never will bail them out when they spend their last dime, and they just use this as yet another example of how horrible I am.

I should also mention that my parents have almost no friends or family left. Most people have just stopped talking to them because of how abusive they have become. They basically have my sister, who only moved out last year (nearly 30!). For years my mom said she couldn't make it on her own. Finally when she got married, her husband insisted that she move out (my parents wanted them to live with them and pay rent!!!).

[b]But my question is still- was I wrong to continue to have a relationship with my aunt?  I sent her Xmas cards and invited her to my wedding, but otherwise didn't speak to her.[/b] This was enough to blacklist me.

My husband got his dream job in the town where my aunt lives. My parents were furious with us for moving here as we would be close to my aunt. So they're not really talking to me now (except my dad sometimes). I'm so mad at them that I've decided it's okay to see my aunt. She's been so nice, and she apologized to me for any distance because she fell out with my parents. She even suggested she apologize to my parents for the falling out, but my parents insisted on written apologies for each of them, and a complete admission of wrong (which isn't even true!) and she balked at that.

I think reading toxic parents will help me a lot. Also probably therapy. [/quote]

Your question here implies you need a lot of therapy and stat. If you really think appeasing toxic abusive people is right and not speaking to the people who treat you well is wrong, think of the message you are sending your kids. If you really can't critically think through the situation and figure out that speaking to your aunt is not wrong, you need to get into intensive therapy now, books are not enough. You likely have these massive gaps in critical thinking in other areas and that does not lead to healthy living or healthy parenting. the source of these gaps maybe your childhood but you are now an adult and need to resolve these issues. [/quote]

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