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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for the great comments and suggestions.  Not sure on depression.  She is moody but does get dressed and does go to organized outings (ie guitar lesson and sports practice).  She just went on weekend trip organized by her church and she was suppose to room with her friend who signed up at the same time - then another friend in the group signed up last minute and now she texted me that they are rooming together and she has a very nice (stranger) roommate.  This upsets me and has happened before - she gives in so easily.  Is this low esteem? depression?  how do you screen for that as PP suggested?  [/quote]

It sounds like it's more her personality to hang back.  I have a quiet child too.   Unfortunately at this age most kids aren't good about reaching out to the quiet ones.  Our kids need to learn to assert themselves a bit more to be included.  Chances are the stranger she's with now has no friends there either so maybe this is a good chance to practice social skills.

Clearly she has friends (like the one she was supposed to room with) and maybe she prefers smaller groups.  Could she sign up for some volunteer stuff and work on involving just one friend at a time?  For example, our church donates meals once a month to a shelter and we make the dishes at home.  Often my DD will ask a friend to come over and help her make 3 big bowls of salad or whatever.  Invite one friend to the pool (even better if it's something off the beaten path.  We often take a friend out to Bohrer Park in Gaithersburg to swim and play mini golf)

Is she excited about high school?  Encourage her to pick some clubs that will allow her to meet smaller groups of kids.  This is also a new start and she can try to take the initiative more to make plans and have others join instead of waiting to be asked to join their plans.[/quote]

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