Reply to DH doesn't include me in decisions that affect us as a family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And whatever you do, don't a child with him until you see whether he's willing to discuss these things and become a team player. [/quote]

We already have a child together.  This is my 2nd marriage, so I get that divorce is an option.  I'm saying to you all in this forum that right here, right now, it is premature to divorce.  I put that in mostly to help focus the comments.  Obviously, that wasn't very successful.

For those who have suggested that there is a learning curve and that it takes time, do you have any concrete suggestions as to help us through the transition.  I like the idea about the separate accounts & detailed budget.[/quote]

OP, you said you are a newlywed but you already have a child together. How long have you been together? This behavior might be quite entrenched already.   If he is used to making unilateral decisions when it comes to his family, you will not be able to change that unless he puts your family (meaning the three of you) ahead of his other relatives.  My guess would be that he comes from a patriarchal family or culture or has been filling the role of the patriarch of the family due to an absent or detached father.  He doesn't want to check with you first.     Of course, you could give him and the relative the cold shoulder when it happens but that would just make you look bad or pathetic.   I suggest professional marriage counseling if your DH will agree to it. [/quote]

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