Reply to Is it wrong to tell a child they were a surprise/accident? What about unwanted?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a surprise, and my mother considered abortion.

I actually think my mother wanted a child, but since at the time she was not married, my father was of a different ethnicity and her family was extremely conservative and dysfunctional, she was very confused and anxious at first about what she should do and how people would perceive her. She also had Multiple Sclerosis and worried how that might affect our life.

My mother adores me, by the way. Unfortunately she's emotional and not a great communicator. Sometimes I have been made to feel unwanted, when in actuality I know perfectly well she was happy being a mother.

My point is that it is not the fact you disclose this information - I believe every child should know as much about him or herself as possible, even the not so pleasant bits. It is HOW you disclose it that matters. Say it lovingly and with assurance. Say how happy this child has made you. Don't suddenly throw the "unwanted" info into the conversation in a fit of rage...[/quote]

my sis once asked when she was like 8/9 what year did the world go to shit - not her exact words - and my dad said 1978. that was the year she was born. i still jokingly tell her that she's the reason the world has gone to shit.[/quote]

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