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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have any close friends. You know those families that look normal on the outside but behind closed doors there's a ton of really fucked up stuff going on? That was my family growing up. I was socially awkward and my mother created a slew of hoops to jump through in order to go to a friend's house or have a friend over, so it almost never happened.

I'm better now, and have people I sometimes meet with for lunch or whatever, but no close friends. I don't chat on the phone with friends. Nobody would bring me soup if I were sick or help with groceries if I broke a leg. My cell phone can go days without ringing.

My facebook page has about 85 friends and half are family members.

It's a shame really, because I'd make a GREAT friend. But everybody's set already with their friends. Nobody's looking for a good friend in me. [/quote]

It's the same for me, PP.  Just want you to know you're not the only one.

I wish I understood the connection between the childhood issues and the adult issues a little bit better.  [/quote]

NP here.  I've been thinking about this a lot.  I grew up with an alcoholic father.  We moved often.   I just could not ever bring anyone home to my house and quickly learned to not bother forming friendships because I was soon going to leave.  I learned to retreat into myself.

I do see a pattern in myself; once I get to know someone and become close, I almost repel and back off.  All of a sudden, it seems to hard to maintain the friendship - reciprocating social things, returning calls, hanging out...and I let the relationship go, mostly out of guilt that I am a terrible, unworthy friend.  The cycle repeats - I have a huge group of ex-friends who I am certain hate me and wonder what happened.

My alkie dad never, ever had any male friends.  Not even drinking buddies.

My ILs have lived in the same town for 40 years.  They have exactly one friend each, a married couple who lives nearby.  They do not socialize with anyone else.[/quote]

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