Reply to Appropriate "punishment" if DD bombs finals

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]  For me, if she HAS to go to community college, I will feel like a failure, because it means I didn't drill hard enough into her head the proper values of hard work and always doing your best.  [/quote]

Just want to point out to you:

my cousin went to a 4 yr state school, then grad school for her masters.
i went to community college.

I earn more than she does, and will always be ahead of her salary-wise. we're both happy. we're both smart. we're both in our late 30's. where we went to college doesn't matter anymore. [/quote]To add to that, OP, I'm wondering if, in some reverse psychology way, you're not putting too much pressure on her and she is rebelling. I don't know what advice to give you as to what you should do now but I was struck by the way you said [i]I[/i] will feel like a failure because I didn't [i]drill[/i] hard enough. This makes it sound as if her grades are all about you and not her. She may be picking up on that and resisting for that reason.

Of course, you're worried about her and as adults we can see what happens when people don't get their act together at a fairly young age, especially in this economy but I think in some way you've made this about soothing your anxieties and kids pick up on that. Apologies if I'm wrong. It is just a guess based on your brief comments. [/quote]

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