Reply to First ever theatric motion picture about Stillbirth

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't need a movie to tell me how devastating and awful it would be for a family to endure. [/quote]

+1 I have a very close friend who lost her first child at 23 weeks, quite unexpectedly, then lost her second at 18 weeks (that's still miscarriage apparently). Then a family member with an 18 week loss. Another couple lost a baby at 40 weeks - completely blindsided by it.

My feelings? Pregnant women are BOMBARDED with a sense of their risks. You can't escape it. My first pregnancy was just about ruined with fear. That Jennifer Aniston movie about the dog was released with a big miscarriage scene, then the Washington post released an article about how "common" stillbirth is (without differentiating 20 week loss from term losses, without differentiating any of the scenarios where there are known issues vs. parents blindsided) about 1 week before I gave birth. I found these things nearly paralyzing. They absolutely, positively got in my head and diminished my joy about pregnancy, interfered with my sleep.

You can't open a pregnancy book without seeing a break down of your risks. And the fact that people are apparently not talking about still birth? What do you want people to do? I do NOT want my providers to start listing the things that could happen to me. I do NOT want more risks thrown in my face. I have enough trouble with perspective as it is.

So I'm not sure who the target audience is here, and what exactly the film hopes to accomplish. Is it just help for people to understand the plight of those who suffer this? Well, I don't think it takes much more than just hearing that it happened to someone for most of our hearts to break for the couple.

[b]If there is a lack of research into this subject, or a lack of awareness among ob / gyn / midwife / birth providers, then maybe there's use here - but is that the case? Is the idea that more awareness can help bring a cure? Or is this just a parent's need to share grief? I can understand that, I really can, but at the same time, I don't agree that we have to support that. I think it is a net negative in the fears and worries that it causes. So if the movie is there, fine, people can choose whether or not to watch. BUT, if the movie is something that is supposed to drive "awareness" - i.e. simply more people knowing this could happen to them or that more people should be talking about this, I'm not in support of that. Because it's just more forced consumption of all of the monsters hiding under the pregnancy bed and many of us are already having trouble sleeping. [/b]

OP, all of this said, I'm very sorry for your experience. I hope you find peace. [/quote]

There is a HUGE lack of research into the causes and prevention of stillbirths.  There has been a ton of money and research into SIDS prevention but not pregnancy loss.  The statistics are truly staggering...

I hope you never have to suffer the loss of a full term child like my very close friend did earlier this year, but maybe if you did, you would feel very differently about this film.  People suffering from this type of grief feel alone and isolated because people like YOU would rather ignore the issue, pretend it doesn't exist, and hope it doesn't happen to you.  What's so wrong with wanting to bring awareness to this issue anyway?

I find it very sad that in an educated area like DC, people are still willing to be so ignorant about some things...[/quote]

Look, I'm not saying don't make this movie, I'm just saying I won't watch it. And it's not beuase I'm this dick you want me to be, or that I want to ignore it. People are different and there's a LOT of info out there about all of the 6 trillion things that can happen to ruin your life every day - in pregnancy and not. Would you like to watch a real life documentary about a gruesome plane crash that happened to the airline you are flying, in weather exactly like you are flying in? Would you like your seatmate to sit next to you on a flight, during a storm, and tell you, once you are in the air and can't do anything about it, that statistically, airplanes are 4 times more likely to crash in a thunderstorm than not? Well, I'm pregnant. I'm aware of my risks. I don't want my seatmate whispering in my ear, as I try to be calm and take care of my life and other child, that my baby has a 1 in 200 chance of being stillborn. I just don't. And it's unreasonable not to understand that. So make the movie and I wish you good luck. My heart truly, truly, truly goes out to people who have suffered these losses. Like you, PP, I have some close friends who have been there. Maybe that is something that makes me even more sensitive to the issue than I should be - [b]I am ALREADY WORRIED SICK about things that could go wrong. Do you not understand that some women feel this way? And that it's not a slam on anyone who has suffered it that I don't want to spend my pregnancy scared that it will happen to me?[/b] [/quote]

Gosh, spending your pregnancy worried sick is ALMOST as bad as experiencing this type of grief.   :roll: You've made it clear you "don't support" this anyway, so why the emotional responses?? [/quote]

Not the PP you quoted, but OMFG, [i]grow up.[/i] If you feel like your family and friends aren't honoring your grief appropriately, take it up with them, not a bunch of strangers.[/quote]

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