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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is BM a celebration of materialism?[/quote]

Not for us. Ours was a celebration of our son's coming of age, and reading from the torah.  Yeah, I fed a lot of people lunch, but heck, they came out for a 150 minute service.

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IMHO I definitely think it has become an excess display of materialism, wealth and "I-can-top-you".  
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The most vulgar Baht Mitzvahs I have been to were in Florida.  Save-the-date cards. Lavish photo invitations.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars for a "themed" dinner.  Rock band.  Others have been in New York City with lavish dinner and dancing in the restaurant at the top of the World Trade Center (sigh).  Maryland ones (and I've been to many) seem to be a competition which parent can pay more and invite over 1,000 people.  The Virginia ones I have been to were tasteful - but that's only two.

I can understand why the more Conservative and some of the Reformed rabbis are worked up about this:  a much better mitzvah would be to donate all that money to a good charity.

This isn't even an issue in the Orthodox community because it is still treated as a sacred event.  And women aren't allowed a Baht Mitzvah at all.[/quote]

Wow, we are stereotype everyone with the 2 (TWO) that you've been to.  I think the majority of the ones we have been to (and we have been to at least 70 over the past 10 years) are nice parties with a DJ and some catered food.  We have been to some that were over the top with people who were absolutely trying to impress, but that is far from the norm.  Also, my son (and most of his friends that I know) not only donated a significant portion (25% of my son's he donated to charity) of whatever they were gifted by people, but many of the kids do mitzvah projects as well.

And women ARE allowed to have a Bat Mitzvah, they simply are not allowed to read from the Torah during services which include males (and not on Shabbat morning).  [/quote]

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