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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- You're being unfair to me, or you're reading selectively. I am not sticking my head in the sand, I'm beginning to explore the possibility by posting here.

I do not fear stigma. I don't know how I can say more plainly that my aversion to medicalizing her behavior has NOTHING to do with other people and their perceptions. I DO know that MY child will latch on to any excuse not to do something she doesn't want to do. This is the kid who, when punished for bad behavior at age barely-3, said "I did it because I'm hungry and tired". After all, WE used that excuse, didn't we? Why shouldn't she?

[b] I do not think that psychoactive drugs are the right move for MY six year old who is not setting things on fire. [/b] I do not judge you for it. I want her to learn strategies, and *I* want to learn strategies. If your only strategies were medical, then perhaps we'll have things to say to each other in three or four years. For the moment, though, I would very much appreciate some thoughts on these early days.

As for "intending to ignore good advice", that's uncalled for. There is no one right answer. [b] I would be doing my daughter a greater disservice by blindly following than by asking questions based on what I know about her[/b]. [/quote]

I'm gently suggesting you be more considerate in your approach.  You say you're asking questions based on what you know about your DD but you clearly have some preconceived notions about ADHD and treatments.  You really need to do more research on what ADHD is and is not.  The strategies you seek aren't just good for people with ADHD, they're good for ALL people.  You can find them in the books recommended, taking a Positive Discipline class , reading books like 123 Magic, organizing/homework resources such as Ann Dolin http://anndolin.ectutoring.com/homework-made-simple/ and, of course, CHADD http://www.chadd.org/.  It may be your lack of background knowledge that causes you to write things that, frankly, come across as insulting, obtuse and insensitive.  Your writings show a significant lack of understanding of ADHD and, therefore, discussing management (non-pharmicological and or otherwise)  techniques with you is difficult.  You just don't have the knowledge level needed.  It's not enough to know about your DD, you need to know about ADHD, which you don't and which is the true disservice to your DD. Educate yourself and then come back and ask for assistance.

In closing, I can't help but point out that your statement about not medicating because your DD isn’t setting things on fire is insulting and inaccurate.  I believe that wasn’t your intention but it does illustrate how little you know about ADHD and treatment.  My DS with ADHD is not in the least hyperactive or impulsive.  He's ADHD/Inattentive which is probably the most difficult to diagnose in the younger ages because it lacks many of the hallmark ADHD symptoms.  We use medication with him, not because he's setting things on fire, but because despite his best efforts he cannot regulate his attention.  ADHD is a neurological disorder and expecting him to 'try harder' would have been cruel, ineffective and crushing.  His brain IS different and the medication (a non-stimulant) helps him because he cannot help himself.  He also knows his brain is different because we want him to be self-aware and understand why he's different.  Sure, he’ll sometimes try to use it as an excuse but what kid doesn’t make excuses?  You really need to learn a lot more about ADHD because until you do, you really can't help your DD in the way she'll need to be helped and you'll continue to insult a lot of good people who don't deserve it.[/quote]

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