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[quote=Anonymous]"I totally appreciate the honest thoughts. I am trying to figure out if I'm as ungrateful as he describes or if he is sort of a loser."

Oh OP, I've been in this exact same situation (now divorced, thank god, because nothing has changed on his end).  You are not being ungrateful.  There is nothing wrong with you.  He is turning things back on you because he can't handle taking responsibility for his actions.  Underneath, there is probable a lot of shame and low self-esteem on his end, which only he can fix.

I think your role is to see a therapist to figure out what your bottom line is - financially and emotionally, what do you need from him?  You need to be able to articulate this in a very straightforward and unemotional manner, and then give him a deadline or ultimatum.  He's the one who has to figure it out - you can support him, but if he's not ready, willing and able to do the work then nothing will change.

You also need to see a divorce lawyer about your rights.  He is voluntarily unemployed, which likely means you would owe him no alimony and perhaps no child support if you have primary custody, but it depends on your state laws and more specific information.  [/quote]

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