Reply to Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten

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[quote=Anonymous]I sent my "summer birthday" DD on time as a five year old. Great decision. She thrived. However, we did not have any academic or social concerns about her as a five year old. She was a great fit for her class all the way through high school.

Throughout her schooling, there were always older students in her grade who had been held back. One would think that they would be more prepared and more mature, given their older age. This was not the case.

Invariably, the kids who were held back were still among the more immature students in their new grade, even though they were older. Whatever had caused their immaturity and lack of readiness for kindergarten as a five-year old was still there. If there were learning issues that precipitated the "redshirting," then those learning issues were still there, even with IEP's and extra help, therapy and medication. These students always found school to be a challenge on some level.

If you have a neuro-typical kid who starts Kindergarten at age five, no matter what their size, you will most likely have a neuro-typical high schooler who is thriving in their cohort.

If you have a "summer birthday" child with some issues, holding them back a year seems to be a wise thing to do and it is definitely what we would have done, if our DD had some issues. It gives your child, and you, a chance to work on whatever issues there are and they may start kindergarten with more confidence.

But, do not be surprised if those issues remain and are noticeable once again within their new cohort. Holding a child back who has learning or other disabilities does not give them some sort of advantage in the next class (if that is what people are upset about on this thread). The neuro-typical kids in the class will still be able to navigate their academics and social situations with greater fluency, no matter what their age, all the way through their school years. Their ability to absorb and retain new academic material, and to function well in a group, becomes essential by high school because of the intensity of the pace and depth of the classes/labs. These students generally rise to the top of their class anyway, because they are able to handle the multi-tasking, abstract concepts, and integration and inter-connections of new material on their own.

If you have a child with a summer birthday who has issues, give them another year before Kindergarten. If you have a child who does not have issues, send them.

There is no advantage to the child who is "older" when they start school, if the reason they were "red shirted" had to do with some issue they have. Parents of neuro-typical kids need to relax about this and worry less about the wider age spans in classrooms, and be grateful that their kids are able to handle the environment without supports.

(This is from a mom with both neuro-typical and SN kids).

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