Reply to My Husband Wants Me to Dress Like an Old Maid for an Outing that Will Include His Work Colleagues.

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Reply to "My Husband Wants Me to Dress Like an Old Maid for an Outing that Will Include His Work Colleagues."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Help! I'm 5'7 and very heavy busted. I definitely turn heads when anything I wear is slightly form fitting. I know this and on purpose I dress more conservative. Slightly looser tops, less cleavage, etc... Still, you can tell my bust is out there. Anyways, I actually refused to go on outings with DH because he has now required me to dress like what I consider to be an old maid. The tops are so loose and baggy, they are not flattering at all. FWIW's I have some insecure friends who also encourage me to wear unflattering clothes because they don't like the attention I get (they don't get any). Anyways, DH used to love how I dressed and recently after we've had kids (been together 10 years) he's become more controlling with my dress. So fast forward to now. There's a huge event this weekend and I'll be meeting his coworkers for the first time. I'll be getting my hair and nails done tomorrow and am in the process of getting an outfit together. DH has selected one for me and it is awful. He also had no clue about how something should fit. I will not be comfortable and will be very self-conscious. I see no reason to wear something that will make look 20 pounds overweight. But, actually, I'm not sure why he would want me to look that way. Don't most men want their spouses to turn heads to their co-workers. [b]As an aside, my husband works in an all male environment and it is very sexist. They talk about women like they're trash and this is the norm for good or bad. Anyone attractive is slaughtered. Especially with the single guys in the office. Could this be the problem? [/b]Also, I'm not conceited, so no snark please. [/quote]

That is not an aside, as you put it.  You answered your own question.  It sounds very intense in his office - the way they talk about women.  He obviously wants to protect you.  He doesn't like thinking about what they will say and think about you.  Unless he has always been controlling on this matter, and you said this is new behavior, then that is clearly what it is (the sexist work guys).

You should count yourself lucky that he doesn't want you to be the subject of their sexist remarks.  My husband started to work with a boss who was like that, though primarily about his wife.  My DH got all buddy buddy with his boss, who talked crap about his wife in a disrepectful and sexist way.  His boss would then probe my husband to tell him stuff I did in our marriage (normal things), and encourage him to bitch about me, so the boss could talk about how bad wives are in general.  My husband, who I've known for over 20 years to be a women's advocate and very pro-women, actually didn't maintain that boundary, fell into bitching about me and answering questions about me that was private information.  It was certainly not stuff you tell to a male chauvenist (and my DH kenw that he was at the time).  DH came to his senses, and realized his boss was a complete ass, but that was after getting screwed over by him in a huge way.  However, it is really hard to think he didn't want to protect me and our marriage from a jerk like that.  
 
I say to find a compromise set of clothes that you are both okay with.  [/quote]

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