Reply to Advice on telling teenage stepdaughter that a new baby is on the way?

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Reply to "Advice on telling teenage stepdaughter that a new baby is on the way?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Great job, OP.  I'll probably out myself to any friends reading this thread, but still want to share our experience.

My DSS was older than your stepdaughter when I became pregnant, 22 and in his own apartment.  We had been planning a visit to him anyway, and while we were there we broke the news.  His reaction shocked us - he was thrilled!

He was always the first person we called with updates, u/s photos, news of boy/girl.  When we decorated her nursery we put a 4-photo frame on the wall.  3 of the four photos were of DH, me and DSS as infants, with the 4th awaiting her newborn pic.  I.e., from the get-go this was a complete family unit including him.

We had also asked our families to give us 2wks alone at home with the newborn to bond.  Part of that was my DSS, he flew home the day we came home from the hospital and stayed for 5 days.

He had little experience with babies, but was content to hold her and read a book while she snoozed.  While I was in marathon nursing sessions, he and DH got 1-on-1 time doing the shopping and cooking.  He lost a bit of sleep too with the middle of the night crying, so he got the whole experience!

Since then we've done our best to build a relationship that includes 4 of us and help him know that he is just as important as he's always been.  [b]When we say grace before meals or bedtime prayers, his name is included even if he's not here.  He notices therefore when he's home that it's part of DD's routine.  [/b]We skype occasionally, but his weekly phone chats just with his dad also continue.  We also talk to DD about her brother a lot, so she just adores him when he comes home - not bad for his ego, and to know that he is loved and not forgotten.  We've added photos of her to our home but haven't taken down his photos.

Admittedly, my love for her is different than my love for him, but my love for him isn't any less because I have her.  I think DH would say the same thing.
Good for you for thinking about these issues.  Good luck.

[/quote]

NP.  I love this. [/quote]

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