Reply to I can't look my friend in the eye because she just had an abortion

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Reply to "I can't look my friend in the eye because she just had an abortion"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]+1.

I am very resentful of a smart, educated friend I had, who also hated condoms, got pregnant, aborted. 10 years later at 35 and 38 got pregnant first try both times. Flaunted it everywhere, how easy it was, how she always knew she was really fertile and would get pregnant easily, sneered at my process, "just relax", "just do it when you have to have it" (she's no longer a friend). I have always been responsible, never put myself in the position of killing my child, I used birth control. I paid attention to who I slept with. And still, I have had a hellish infertility journey.

I don't think you need to feel bad for being resentful. The Zen-master posters here who think you should be accepting are being very unrealistic. Or kidding themselves. [/quote]
But in your case, your friend was kind of a bitch. It's one thing to have an abortion, another thing to sneer at you and tell you to "just relax." In your situation, you were justifiably upset at a way this woman behaved toward you, which was exacerbated by her own life choices.

In the OP's case, we don't know if this "friend" has done anything other than make a series of choice that the OP would not have. There are tons of people in this world who make choices I would not make. To get intensely rageful at them seems pointless.

I think the OP knows that she is being illogical ("I know I am a terrible person") and I think once the first burst of anger dies down, she'll see that her friend's decisions really have nothing to do with her. Whether some woman out there has an abortion or decides to have a litter of babies, it's not going to make anyone else's fertility journey easy or hard. [/quote]

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