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[quote=Anonymous]Ok, I agree with everyone that op is acting self-centered and needs to change course with her son and DIL, ASAP.

In fairness, I do feel for you, OP.

I'm Jewish, and had to make a lot of concessions to my inlaws around the wedding that made me crazy. I'm glad I gave into them early on (opposite what is usually advised on this site). I knew certain things meant a lot more to them than it did to me, so I begrudgingly caved a lot. But now we have a great relationship.

I think the Jewish culture is heavily focused on tradition. To the PPs that said her friends shouldn't matter...if they're anything like my MIL's, they'll talk. OP, without gossiping or trash talking, if asked about it you can let them know that there are some differences in the traditions that your and DIL's families are used to, but that your thrilled that your two families are now united. Yadda yadda yadda...;)

I also think you should explain (calmly) to your son why you were so sensitive about this and other wedding related stuff. He might not realize how uncomfortable it feels for you/him to break tradition. But then back off. For everyone's sake. [/quote]

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