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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those who lost parents suddenly, I'm really sorry for your losses. This is totally hijacking the thread, but I lost my only sibling 4 months ago, out of NOWHERE (we had lunch the day before!) and I am having a really hard time. I also had a parent die after a long illness and the difference between the two experiences is huge. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that the loss has actually occurred- it doesn't feel real. I keep replaying the events in my head, etc, it's really bad. Anyway, since there seem to be a lot of you on here, I was just wondering if you have any tips or how long it took you to start to get to a good place again?[/quote]

I'm so sorry PP. It's such a crappy club to be in. My brother has been gone almost a dozen years. Just writing that makes me think that it's not even possible. How can that be? I too replayed the (horribly tragic) events over and over in my head. I couldn't think of anything else. The first time an hour passed that I didn't think of him, I felt so guilty. 
I ended up going to grief counseling, and I was diagnosed with PTSD. I used that hour each week to talk and cry about my brother. After awhile, I found that people move on with their lives, but I still wanted to talk about everything that happened. Therapy was great for that. 
Really, time is the only thing that makes it "better". Lots of time. I still think of my brother daily, but I can look at a picture of him and not burst into tears. I can remember the good times, and they make me smile. I still cry sometimes (every 2 weeks?), but for much, much briefer periods. It's not that gut wrenching PAIN anymore. 
Just last week, I was driving, and the thought popped into my head that I want to call him and say hi. It caught me off guard. So, I suppose that thinking that it didn't really happen is some sort of coping mechanism. 
For me, talking about my brother and my memories of him helped a lot. Do you know any of his friends who could tell you stories of just normal/funny stuff he did? I liked hearing about a side of him that was different. 
Four months is still so early. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you can. 
Another thing that helped me was to pick a song that was a favorite of my brothers. Whenever I'm in a tough spot in life or just need a pick me up, I'm amazed at how I'll hear that song just when I need it. Pay attention to things like that. It helps me to feel like he's still "with me" even though he's gone. 
I hope that you find peace soon. [/quote]

Thank you for this.  I too, lost a sibling (my twin).  I am struggling, and wonder if there is PTSD issues.  My functioning is hampered, and I am not doing well.  I appreciate what you offered here.  Hugs.  [/quote]

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