Reply to Do you remember death anniversaries?

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[quote=Anonymous]People are wired differently. Some people are very emotionally attached to symbolic things like dates, and others don't give a hoot. It doesn't mean they loved the person any less, it just means that they're not the kind of person who fixates on the date to feel happy or sad.  I some cases each kind of person really doesn't get why the other kind behaves the way they do. If you understand/subscribe to the Myers-Briggs personality factors, it's usually a split between the strong Fs amd the strong Ts. (feelers/thinkers)

I remember this from my days when I was TTC. I was on a board forum that had a section for people who had suffered miscarriages/stillbirths. I had had a fairly late miscarriage, but even during the worst parts, I never felt the need to,do things like name an angel baby, plant a tree, fixate on my due date, etc. These were not helpful to me, and while I intellectually understood why it would be for other people, emotionally I dont get it. I remembered, barely, some of the dates/pointers the first year (not enough to fixate on it), but by the second year, I didn't remember at all. Yet on these boards were posts by people who were five years in and they still lived all the dates. They were angry at people around them who weren't remembering the dates and the events in the same immediacy they were.

So don't feel bad that you remember, but try not to view it as a character flaw that others don't ascribe the same level of importance to dates that you do.

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