Reply to If you are (or have) a stepmom . . . (long message)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stepmom here.  DSS refers to us collectively as his parents.  If he's introducing us it's usually "This is my Dad and this is Jane".  If I refer to him it's "our son" or "my stepson".

The word stepmom really does have so many negative connotations thanks to Disney, but it's still factually accurate.  I'm not hurt by it, but do hate automatic assumptions that stepmothers are wicked and so forth.  I also think it's that the word step- seems to imply an arm's length distance.  I hate calling him my stepson when I've been one of his primary caretakers for the past ten years, yet it's factually inaccurate to say "my son".  Again, because it seems like I'm pushing off responsibility or love for him.  It's the word we're stuck with, though.[/quote]

I am also a stepmom and I totally agree with this response.  My stepson is now in his late 30's and I love him and I am as proud of him as much as the ones that grew inside me.  FWIW, he can call me whatever he wants.  He usually calls me by my first name.  As far as the inlaws or outlaws or whatever, they need to grow up (or a set). If the biological Mom, or the child, has a problem with the stepmom, she needs to talk that out with her son.  None of this is easy, but the adults need to leave their egos at the door and treat all with respect.  [/quote]

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