Reply to Does it make sense for me to die so my family can live?

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[quote=Anonymous]I understand your line of thinking.  You feel overwhelmed with debt, don't see how to pay it off, feel useless and want the best for your family.  And rationally, maybe it seems like an option.

But keep in mind that insurance companies are tricky beasts, and if they can find a reason not to pay out, they'll jump on it.  So even if you think it would all work out, it's definitely possible that you could go through with it and the insurance not pay out.  Then your husband would be left with his own debt *plus* having to pay expensive daycare costs for the kids.

And that's in addition to the emotional toll it would take on him and the kids.

So don't do it.  It's sometimes easy to rationalize drastic measures, but in reality, things never turn out as planned.  And lots could backfire in your plan, possibly leaving your family in worse shape.

Also, don't let this forum fool you -- I think that most people are in your boat (have kids, debt, feel overwhelmed).  This site makes it seem like everyone has a million stashed a way for retirement and a million in a college fund.  But all articles I've read quote statistics that paint a far different picture.  So I go with the facts (as opposed to an anonymous forum in an unusually affluent area -- it's easy for people to exaggerate).  The facts are that most Americans are in debt and don't have lots saved.

So you are not alone.

Honestly, I think they might end up changing bankruptcy laws to include student debt.  Hang in there.  There's been a lot more attention recently to issues with student loans.

Meanwhile, once your kids are in school, you can look for work.  Maybe it won't be in your career of choice and maybe it won't be the highest paying, but I'm sure you can find some administrative work, especially if you have a solid education background.  Once your kids are in school, you won't have to pay for full time daycare.

Things will get better.  I had a friend who used to contemplate suicide, and I told her that the thing about suicide is you can always put it off.  She said that it helped to think of it that way; if it's an option today, than it's an option any time.  So why not just hang in there a little while longer and see if things get better?  Save that as the nuclear option.  I think you'll find, as she did, that things do get better and you'll be glad you didn't put the nuclear option into play.[/quote]

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